Maria Poppins

sometimes when i talk to olive, the things i say take on the air of hearing them, really hearing the meaning and the design of words, for the first time...or maybe i just read into everything and i'm so self-involved that everything, even 'row row row your boat' relates to me...but it does...at least the remix might...

we're rowing we're rowing, we're rowing /
less gently than quite violently /
upstream not down the stream /
quasi-merrily /
and yeah fine, life is kind of a dream.

so when she drops a stick on the ground and we're moving fast with her stroller i say "oh don't worry, you'll find another one." this relates to everything i want to be true about my life. other ones / another one / better than / again --- these are phrases familiar to some and frightening to others and i just live in fear most of the time, that there isn't another one.

and when she points out that my zipper's broken: "hara - zipper's broken - ZIPPER'S BROKEN!!!" it makes me a bit shaky because yes, the zipper is broken and so seems everything unfixable. can't even take my fucking jacket to the tailor and get a new fucking zipper. zipper's broken, baby.

and when i ask her ANYTHING - the answer is almost always one or many of the following, in any order : "mom. and dad. and olive. working. look 'hara airplane. moon. milk."