these disposables (although they rarely are) were taken in february of 2009, a less cold winter than that which occurred towards the beginning of 2010 and i can't really speak for the end of 2010 i just know i'm combatting it this time with fur lined everything and iron will, ice picks and daggers. . . young jayant invited his pops into town and so we (jj and i) met him at his favorite bar close to the bowery or delancey or something and i always see it 3 seconds too late during the day and i get disoriented b/c the city at night is an entirely different beast than it is during the day now isn't it? young jayant was living in boston so 5 years later we still weren't technically in the same city. young comes and goes and i never really worry about it. . . i have no doubt that when he leaves the city again for whatever crevice of the earth and i either remain or seek other fortunes or solitude or purpose elsewhere that we will remain. . . for the time being he is in new york city, wearing suits, working for bloomberg, chasing something and building and breaking as well. occasionally he cooks his mothers recipes, perfects some guitar riffs. . . i have been beside myself a few times this fall - reunited with these two men/boys. . . i try to keep it on the low, but few things ever feel so easy . . . especially on the tail end of a difficult era (fingers crossed) these kinds of things are sweeter, more vivid ; i feel myself recording it, for my own sake. this past sunday we celebrated a non-eventful birthday with soggy chocolate cake and croatian influenced pizza. he is not just another suit on the F train, however he might be perceived. all i can see in front of me is a really good man.
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