ilana panich took this and others one weekend in october, 2009, when we drove to CT to visit aliza for an autumnal fall jaunt. we were in a haze of post-icp everything. i remember coming back to williamsburg in these same clothes and sitting at pete's candy shop for leeor's bday. i remember shrugging off hugs and watching charlie and dieguito match each other in magic states...sarah and i slipped out the back door and sat on a bench on the corner of metropolitan and lorimer, calmly recapping the months behind, calm but angry, but calm...i remember aliza's stepfather's huge bed - have you ever seen a california king? - and i remember sleeping in quiet rooms, and i remember the massive furniture and the massive tv and the hershey's kisses in the huge living room. i remember the hike we took, the apples we bought, and the ponies we sided. relax, it's just a side pony, i said. i remember mostly though aliza's gaze and how you want to make her laugh. live from israel, her father's outline, slim hands / warm touch, the livest one. and the youngest in any room, that i've ever been in, truly.