circa 2007, 2007, 2008, 2010, 2011
ego with smooth part and obvious intentions, vain and naive ego, ego messy and with owl, with tear, with mirror.
ego tries, ego strains, ego is proud, ego is easily shattered. nuance and assertion, arrogance and insecurity - two sides of the same beautiful sword. this weekend ego was with cancer, the crab, that is. a crab with a good heart, a terrible smoking habit, a fear of the goodnight, a lover of the dawn, called forth and to move by a certain drum beat; one that i hear, too. we say we see patterns though i despise repetition. we say i have tendencies and we call them my default. we say i like certain things and i always say innocently that i like what i like. we say to move forward without looking back, though every month my body does the same thing, and the moon even more so, and the sun too, though he strains and often over compensates, and we lay down to get up again, we spin on spinning, like the rims on those massive, mean trucks that roar down this desolate stretch of bushwick avenue that i call mine. i plug my ears with two pointer fingers, just like that, with bozo curly hair exploding out from under a winter hat i refuse to wear correctly. but this winter it's different; i'm secretly pleased, selfishly so, yes at global warming...! yes at this heat. yes, because it's been a while since i walked home against traffic with the sun in my eyes and in some convoluted kind of pain that masochists secretly seek, because if it's bad, then that means it can be really, really good. and ego hopes you hear this; even if ego knows it was nothing. we dipped our feet in some sort of ocean, is all, and the crab on some one-of-a kind type fine. i leave it there, because wild hearts can't be broken, and because i know i don't look like some fucking idiot.