Pops Rides The Train / Uncombs Braids

I wanted this picture so badly that I was afraid to ask, for fear that the answer would be no. Because of that, I received 2 tolerable albeit unclear / distant frames of this wonderful (to me) father, sitting on the train, shouldering three sleeping babies, and untangling his daughter's braids with a fine white comb. He never looked up from under his baseball hat. He was in one of those states that is actually a pleasure to be in on the train sometimes: comfortable, meditative, safe, unconcerned. Anyway, that pretty much sums up a lot of my experiences in life, for the worse...being afraid to ask (i.e., try / show / say) for fear of the NO (rejection / criticism / honesty) and thus you get SOMETHING...but maybe you could have gotten something BETTER or nothing at all...and you would have learned or grown because of that...

does that make sense? it does to me.

Dog Day Afternoon / Wind Central

The guy next to him had a Great Dane stuffed inside his windbreaker...

the clock as map

chunky furniture around these parts. the fort greene tower (clock tower) has become my half dome of brooklyn...if i get out of the subway disoriented i look for this clock, it's the tallest thing about the skyline, most of the time...now, this, of course, only works within a few specific miles of brooklyn, and by this point i have - more or less - figured out how to get to point B, but i still consider the clock my half dome...that ridiculous monolith that never, ever, ever, ever moves...i (proudly) climbed that slab of piedra over the course of 12 hours the summer of 2001. at the top i found, as you might expect 4,737 feet above the valley floor of yosemite, an appreciation for breath, that is breathing, breathing life...as well as a whole new list of TO-DO's and promises that i often make to myself about body, pride, hearts, family and the here and now... if you can see it, you can get there. i haven't been back to yosemite since that summer because i got so sick of seeing that rock every time i stepped out of my tent...it never changes, just the light over it does.


(pay no mind to the streak of whatever down the middle of the blue...duane reade's photography department did that on purpose...i requested the "scanned from a glossy print from a disposable camera taken in the 1990s" look, so that is exactly what duane reade gave me)

Mana / Samantha

Last Thursday, I called my Mom to tell her I met a beautiful, knitted-capped, apple-cheeked, gold-toothed Queen named Mana and she told me Mana means "gift from God." I told Mana this yesterday, but she already knew...The baby is Samantha. She is 3 months old. Two Fridays ago Mana said goodbye to Daniel, an 8-year old boy who she had raised since infancy. On Monday she started this new 'job,' i.e., Samantha. Of course, it's not a job...it's a baby / human / thing / sponge...but it is a job, too. Samantha starts crying when she is on any other chest than that of Mana's...

Lori in Toe Shoes Prepping for Ballet Class on a Friday Afternoon

Lori eats one meal a day. She has danced most of her life. As I mentioned earlier, she is one of many frequenters of Broadway Dance Center, where yours truly and a couple thousand more go to work their shit out. I wanted to do a project with Lori but she didn't understand. Our conversations were incredibly strained because she kept believing that she needed to prove and re-explain her qualifications as a dancer and performer for me to be interested in her, when I was the one who approached her in the first place. I think she thought I was 'real-deal.' I began to get the feeling no one had paid her any attention in half a century. None. In the end (after a few weeks) it became clear that photography also deals in short-term relationships / flings / quick escalations of emotion. I wanted something from her, and then I didn't.


*Note: We still write each other.*

The Blueness of Things

I walked over to these two mostly because Annabella's deep blue eyes were asking me to. Annabella has a twin sister, Georgina, who is much smaller and with finer features, and less brilliant eyes. She will probably be the one who ends up ok, confident, hard-working, intelligent, and married before her beautiful sister, Annabella. Both should know, however, that they are both brilliant, and both beautiful. They are as much conjoined as they are free, they mean nothing and everything to each other at once. Their situation is just happenstance. Ex-roommates, you could say...
Their nurse has cared for them from the moment they were born. She was trained to work in hospitals as a 'baby nurse' but likes the liberty of working outside and for different families and traveling to various states around the nation when duty calls. Her primary duty (aside from guarding their lives) is to get the babies on a regular sleeping and eating schedule before a Nanny is hired to continue raising them. Her Mother named her Sapphire.

Photo of a Young Thing Who Still Hides, Dolores Park 1985 (por Lalo Borja)

All I remember is the taste of the leaf when I stuck my tongue through it. I remember that Pop always carried around a teeny knife for creative meanderings such as leaf masks, sling shots, impromptu back drops or impromptu picnics at Baker Beach. This park, in present day San Francisco, is still green and defined by tall palms and grasséd slopes that give you a view of the best parts of Bay and the buildings, but the hipsters inhabit most of its space on any given day. The paleta carts remain, as do the childrens' birthday parties that take place by the swings, and of course, my insane territorial sensibilities also...remain.